Blog 5

Client: Is it true that you teach people how to treat you?

Therapist: That saying refers to what we are willing to accept from other people.

Client: It has to be my fault for not speaking up. I’m saying it’s okay when my parents hit me and call me stupid.

Therapist: No, none of this is on you. You just ended up with not-so-effective parents.

Children question their role in their parent’s bad behavior because of their instinctual need to survive. They achieve a false sense of safety by placing the blame on themselves. How can they blame their parents for treating them poorly when their parents are their sole source of food and shelter. Where will they go if they lose their parents?

The child is left with enormous anxiety, trying to fix a problem beyond their control. Anxious thoughts often ramp up: I’m not good enough for my parents, too; I’ll never be good enough for anyone else. Unfortunately, these anxious and low feelings of self-worth often transfer to other relationships, especially romantic ones.

Never forget, kids, go through stuff too. But unfortunately, they don’t have the option to pack their bags and leave.

Always be kind!

I appreciate you reading my post, and I hope you will join me in the community that brings awareness to mental health. You will soon discover that you are not alone.

Disclaimer: Social media is not therapy. Everything I share should be viewed as a guide, not an intervention. Everyone is different, and different insights and tools may resonate differently depending on your situation. Take care of your mental health.